1.) When someone points out a flaw in you, do you argue, fight, defend yourself right off the bat? Do you insist that you are "just fine" and could NOT have done or said what they claim? Are you able to admit that you were weak in something and might have hurt someone by it?
How will you be restored, unless you are willing to admit that you messed up? Arguing that you are right, the other person or people is all wrong, is not behaving with LOVE.
The Bible's way:
1 Cor 13:5 it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful
If you are the one confronting the behavior, you also need to check that you are behaving with LOVE.
Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Look to yourself, lest you too be tempted.
When correcting and receiving correction is done in the right way, both people are in good company and SAFE to be around.
2.) Are you religious or are you Holy Spirit-led?
It's a wonderful thing to "go to church" and do "spiritual things" but what about your home, your friendships, your job? Do you serve God on Sundays, only when you walk through the church doors and are around all the "right" people?
Make sure your family and friends and job do not fall by the wayside while you are busy "serving God in the church." Have those other things that are priorities, become less cared for, nurtured, and paid attention to, than what you are doing at church? Don't become an UNSAFE person to those nearest and dearest to you. Make sure your "lost sheep" (family, friends, etc) get sought after and taken care of, even at the seeming expense of the other 99. (church, spiritual things)
The Bible's way:
Matthew 18 v 12-20
12 “What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying? 13 “And if it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray. 14 “Thus it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish.
3.) When confronted, do you listen and consider what is being said or are you ready to FIGHT?
I am so guilty of this, it's not funny. When it comes to "fight or flight" reactions, my first one is to lash back at the "confronter" rather than listen calmly to what they are addressing with me. How about you? When someone says they need to point out something in your life, do you want to run or spout off at them? Either of these reactions make you UNSAFE to be around. If your leaders and others cannot speak to you about what they're concerned about, you will be left in a truly desolate place in your life. Ask God to help you become open to correction. I am doing the same.
Before you even try to worship the Lord through your gifts, you need to be sure and make things right with whatever person or situation needs to be dealt with.
When your brother confronts you, be willing to consider what he's saying. ( "Quick to listen, slow to speak") Then, do what you need to, to make it right between you if possible.
The Bible's way:
Matthew 5 v 24
leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
Next post: you say you're "sorry" but ...
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